I typically compile my Friday musings from various thoughts I’ve posted on Facebook, and it appears I haven’t done a lot of thinking this week. But here’s the few things I’ve been pondering.
So we have been having all these hot water problems, until the very day that my landlord comes out to look at the thing. Then suddenly we have TONS of hot water. So hot that you couldn’t even keep your hands in it. This after weeks of tepid and lukewarm madness, which made it impossible to take a bath. I’m not crazy! Well, maybe a little, but not for the reasons my landlord was thinking. Like, I would not make up cold water. Anyway, at first I thought it was the crazy lady downstairs, who was flipping out because apparently her water bill is now $5 more each month (we share a water heater and the cost is split) since we, you know, do laundry so that our clothes will be clean, and take showers after working out. Maybe she lowered the temperature on the water heater and then turned it back up when the landlord said he was coming. Though I’m not sure she is smart enough to come up with that nefarious plot.
So then I thought it was just the universe’s way of fucking with me. Like when my hair looks really sweet right before I’m about to get it chopped off. Or the times in my past when I was so ready to dump the guy already, but then he would do something really nice–making me second-guess myself. Or when you’re about to quit a gym and suddenly everybody’s polite and respectful and it’s actually a pleasant environment, for a change. This leads you to believe that things aren’t so bad and stop you from making your well-thought-out decision unless you power through it! Um, that doesn’t tie into water at all, but it just is something I’ve been thinking about.
The rest of my week has also been a rollercoaster. I was pleased to learn that my ACL is, in fact, intact and I do not need knee surgery. But I wasn’t so happy to learn that my knee is or was partially dislocated. And the rehab exercises I’ve been doing aren’t any fun at all. I feel weak and helpless, even though I know it is helping build strength in my knee, which is what I want. It doesn’t hurt, but feels weak, so building it up again is the best thing I can do…even if it sucks at the time because these seemingly easy things are so difficult.
I also got turned down from a dream job this week, which sucked, but my silver lining is that I now don’t have to try to start months from now or cancel projects I’ve already committed to (most of which start in October.) Anyway, although I’m more than a little disappointed, I’ve been consoling myself with the thought of better things in store and reminding myself how much I love the flexibility of freelancing.
And I took a day off to try to recharge. It was excellent. I got my hair straightened, bought some zines from an independent bookstore and ate lunch at the co-op.I listened to Fabeku‘s awesome sound shifting audio (the free Sound Shifts Things audio, available on his site, as well as the music from the Don’t Lose Your Shit Kit.) I also did an online audio retreat a la Jen Louden, and tried to think about the sense of longing I have being the calling itself, and ways to really enjoy the journey rather than focusing or obsessing over my lack of things I don’t already have. This is not easy work.
Taking a day off was really hard! I am used to working pretty much 24/7. But I really needed the recharge time, and feel like I can tackle the world with renewed vigor.
My weekend is going to be awesome. My boyfriend and I are going to Milwaukee for UFC (and Joe Rogan!) after he runs a half-marathon. Beer, food and frozen custard are also on the itinerary. Then back to strict Paleo for 8 weeks to prepare for another tournament.
Hope you have a great weekend, too.