Yael Writes

4 Steps to Overcoming a Lack Perspective – Especially in a Networking Scenario

May 17, 2012 By Yael Grauer Leave a Comment

Editor’s Note: This is a guest blog post by Laura Orsini.

Prosperity takes many forms, from money to love to relationships. A prosperity mindset is one in which we embrace abundance, welcoming it into our lives with open arms, as opposed to a lack mindset in which we worry about not having enough, not doing enough, not being good enough. However much we work at overcoming our lack perspectives, occasionally our human nature takes over and we fall into that feeling of uneasiness, worry, or fear. This lack perspective can rear its annoying little head in many different ways:

• “If you succeed, I’ll fail.”
• “If someone hires you as a speaker, they won’t consider me.”
• “If people buy your book, they won’t buy mine.”
• “Other people in my industry are a threat to me.”

You can more than likely add your own favorites to this list.

One place this shows up is at networking events where we’re not the only one there who does what we do. I know this gremlin firsthand! As a self-publishing consultant, I work on many different aspects of writing with my author clients, from editing to building the book to marketing. It’s not a terribly crowded field (like, say real estate or financial planning), so when I attended a networking event recently and someone else there described themselves as doing more or less what I do, I panicked! Wait – that’s my bailiwick and you’re not one of the three other people in town I know who do this!

It turns out the woman was new in town, and she also was fairly new in her business. I’m celebrating 10 years in business this year, so I’ve got some time, experience, and credibility on my side at this stage in my career – things this other woman likely did not have.

But the problem wasn’t my level of experience vs. her level of experience. It was the mindset that let me go there in the first place. Where does this nonsense come from? As noted above, it arises from our human nature and the gremlins in our heads that tell us we’re not good enough. It comes from fear that the Universe shares our lack perspective and the failure to realize that there’s more than enough for all of us – whether in the form of money, clients, or opportunities.

1. BREATHE

What can we do when these unwanted thoughts wash over us – particularly at a function like a networking mixer? First of all, we can just stop and take a giant, deep breath. Then another. And another still, until we feel the stress beginning to dissipate.

2. ADOPT AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE

Next up, we can find a space of gratitude. Seriously? you might be thinking. “I’ve just had to follow another life coach who had an awesome 30-second intro and mine sucked! You want me to be grateful?” Yeppers. Grateful. If you calm down and breathe a minute, you probably won’t have to think too hard to come up with something for which you are grateful.

What’s the point? Gratitude refocuses our thoughts, moving them out of that lack perspective, which enables us to instead concentrate on what we DO have. In doing this, we can reconnect with our innate prosperity consciousness and more easily embrace and attract the abundance we seek.

3. KNOW HOW YOU’RE DIFFERENT

On a more practical level, it never hurts to be prepared for an occasion when you need to differentiate yourself from the others in your industry, such as at a networking mixer. In order to do so, it might help to begin by answering a few questions as honestly as possible:

• How are you different from the others who do what you do?
• What skill/hobby/expertise do you have that (virtually) no one else in your industry has?
• What is different about the way you deliver your product/service than everyone else in your industry?
• Who are your mentors and how do they stand apart from the others in their areas of specialization?
• If you had to choose one word to describe yourself, which word would you choose? Why that word? How is that word important to your clients/customers?
• What are the benefits your clients/customers get by using your products/services? Note: benefits are different from features – these are not the deliverables themselves, but the way the deliverable helps the client/customer.

Example: My clients experience the validation, sense of accomplishment, and increased credibility that authoring a book affords them – and they learn to think like marketers so that they can make more sales.

4. REPLACE THE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS WITH A POSITIVE AFFIRMATION

Lastly, as soon as you feel those doubts and worries creeping up on you, recognize them and head them off. Right now, while you’re in a neutral state of mind, think of a few affirmations you can use to replace the negative thoughts. One that always works for me, whether I’m running late or have been waiting longer than usual for a payment from a client, is: Everything is perfect exactly as it is. Repeating this sentence a couple times out loud never fails to calm me down and remind me that it’s an abundant, beautiful Universe – and as soon as I get my thoughts back in alignment with that concept, everything will be fine.

 

Laura Orsini is a self-publishing consultant based in Phoenix, Arizona. She works primarily with socially conscious speakers, authors, and coaches. 

Laura is the creator and host of the upcoming Author Blog Challenge, set to begin June 2.The challenge is open to all authors, authors-in-process, and would-be authors. Please check out the website and share the info with the authors in your life.