The most annoying thing about condescending people is that they don’t even realize they’re being condescending.
The guy who told me he was really surprised my client would have sent a woman to cover a sporting event was too obvious, but the one who told me he’d been following my written analysis and it was “actually pretty good” was even worse. (So you’re assuming you know what’s going on and I don’t, and that I’d be pleased at your oh-so-surprising revelation that I can actually do my job? Can I get a pat on the head, too, while you’re at it?)
The proverbial guy at the so-called progressive d.i.y. bike shop who takes the tools out of your hands when you ask him how to do something (why thank you! now I’ll be completely helpless when I try to do it on my own, because you didn’t teach me anything) is bad enough, but it’s the one who tries to explain how to do something to someone who’s in the actual process of doing it that really gets my goat. (How long would it take to see where someone’s at? Three seconds?)
And in the damning with faint praise category, just today someone told me an article of mine was well-written, and that the author I interviewed was “a sport for answering all these questions with sincerity and good will.” Um, that’s what book promotion is. Though of course, it is also a distinct possibility that an author may actually be engaged in my carefully crafted questions about topics they’re personally vested in… you know, since they wrote a book about it, and all.
The thing that makes me laugh in all these situations is that often the person who’s doling out the patronizing comments is not anywhere near an expert in the field themselves, which often leads me wondering how much of it is due to their own insecurity, especially when there’s a woman in so-called male space (like bike shops or sporting events or academia). I can just see the wheels turning in Condescending Man’s brain. (Read: “I KNOW my dick is bigger than HERS!”)
But even when it’s coming from an actual expert rather than someone who’s merely a legend in their own mind, it’s equally annoying. I’m thinking of a former client who insisted on explaining how bruschetta was pronounced at a restaurant, priding himself on being one of the chosen few to pronounce it properly. “Yes, but nobody wants to eat it with you,” I thought, silently.
Anyway, this song goes out to all of you. (And no, it’s not mine–I just found it on YouTube.)
Editor’s Note: I’m aware that all these examples are male, but they’re the ones I experience most often. Of course, there are condescending women, too.
It takes a lot to get me to dole out my hard-earned cash for a cookbook, since I get so many review copies for free, but after trying out the free sample recipes in 
Marcelo Garcia’s Jiu-Jitsu Academy in New York is a mecca of sorts for grapplers the world over, and for good reason. He’s amazing. Not just for winning and winning and winning (he has five world championship titles under his belt, as well as countless submission grappling awards from ADCC), or for being a smaller grappler who has won so many absolute divisions against bigger, stronger opponents at the highest level (a testament to his technical mastery in the sport), but also for embodying so many characteristics which are not only admirable in their own right, but really beneficial for the sport.
The next technique series was attacks from the mount. Hiding your feet under your opponent, you wait for them to buck in several directions, and transition to an armbar when the timing and direction are right. We also worked on a collar choke from mount. After a quick review on everything we’d learned with our partners, we spent the last fifteen minutes or so doing positional training from mount: person on the bottom works to transition to half guard or guard; person from the top works their attacks.
Editor’s Note: This blog post was previously published on DirtTime.org.
Compliments are far less pervasive than criticism is in the world of online journalism, so I’m always happy when someone has something positive to say. A fighter I profiled told me she finally read what I wrote about her months ago, and said, “It’s actually really well-written. Not that I didn’t think you are good at writing, but you’re the only one that’s actually accurate…”
It’s always hard to collect links while traveling, and I’ll have plenty more resources and information to share in a round-up post, but for now, here’s what caught my eye or is worth paying attention to…
The first time I’d heard of 
This week’s Variety Hour is early, since I’ll be on a plane to New York City on Wednesday for the ASJA conference. I could’ve scheduled it to post later, but why make you wait?
